Last week my two daughters came home with 4 more kids in tow. When I asked why all of these children had followed us home from the bus stop they told me, "Well, we've started a Homework Club daddy!" So, I went along with it. I figured I could help the other kids do their homework along with mine seeing that I never really have any trouble when it comes to my daughters doing their homework.
So, it's Day 6 of the Homework Club and I'm at a loss for words. Either the system and/or the parents are failing our children, the boys in particular. When they come in, my girls get to work and need very little, if any help at all. I'm not saying that to brag, just for comparison. My neighbor's daughter comes in and does her work pretty independently as well. Except she's a bit of a "know it all" and tries to finish before everyone else only to have me go back over it and point out several mistakes that she's made. But once I get her to slow down, she's good. But the boys...Oh! My! GOD!!!! Please know that this isn't to put these kids down, but I just feel like I need to share this because I'm at a crossroads.
I have a 3rd grader who can't spell four letter words like, from, what, this, make, etc... When I say he can't do it I mean what he writes down when asked to spell these words is not even close to the actual word. He wrote "wasi" and "farati" for "what" and "from". There is a list of 10 words and those were the closest he got to being correct because he actually used the right letter to start the words. Now, I know many highly educated men and women who are terrible spellers, but they usually spell things phonetically even if they are incorrect. Boys are usually good at math, at least early on they are. But, out of 20 addition and subtraction problems using only single digit numbers, he answered 2 correctly and they were 2+1 and 1+2. It has been known for a while now that prison corporations use data from third grade reading and math assessments to determine where they will need to build their prisons in the future. I can only wonder why he has been allowed to make it to the 3rd grade with such limited learning.
Then, there's his little brother who is in 1st grade and cannot formulate a sentence using the words, "at", "in", "ran", "dad", etc... Notice, I didn't say write a sentence, I'm talking about just coming up with one like, "I am AT the store." My 1st grade daughter on the other hand, comes up with and writes her own sentences, so I spend my time trying to help him because she knows what to do. Since he doesn't know how to spell the words he wants to use in his sentences after he finally comes up with them, I write the sentences down for him and have him copy them onto his paper. I would have made him write the sentences himself but after he wrote 5 straight sentences that didn't contain a vowel, I knew that wasn't an option. He really struggles just to copy the sentences down because he still has trouble just writing the letters freehand. He seems to have a better grasp on math though.
Finally, there's a little boy who is in kindergarten. His homework consists of writing his name, the alphabet, and numbers 1 through 10. He just sits there and scribbles on the paper until I make him some traceable worksheets to follow because he can't write his letters freehand. However, he knows everything there is to know about a Nintendo DS. The two 3-year-old boys that I homeschool everyday can write letters and numbers after they practice by tracing them first.
One thing that all these boys have in common, with the exception of the 3-year-olds, is that their behavior charts from school are terrible. The charts use the colors from a traffic light to indicate the child's behavior that day; green means good, yellow means they had a few issues that needed to be addressed that day, and red means they were off the chain. They each usually have yellow or red on their behavior charts. I'm not sure if their lack of understanding the grade level concepts comes from the behavioral issues or if the behavioral issues stem from their lack of understanding the concepts.
At the end of each Homework Club session, I give their parents a report on what they had for homework and how they did on it. I let them know if they understood the work or if they need more practice. But shortly after they go inside, they are back outside playing, even on the days that I tell their parents that they need more practice. I'm starting to ask myself, "If they don't care, why should I?" I really don't want to give up on these boys, but when I allowed my daughters to start their Homework Club, I had no idea how poorly these boys were performing in school. In retrospect, I guess that's why their parents were in such a hurry to send them over. These boys are all well below grade level and I don't know if that's the system's fault, their parents' fault, or a combination of the two. I want to continue helping them, but I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Their parents are my neighbors and I don't want to offend them, but a hard conversation needs to be had and it needs to be had pronto!
What should I do? Should I just discontinue the Homework Club and tell the parents again that their children need more help than I can provide? Should I just continue to do the Homework Club and just keep giving the parents the reports and let them decide to handle things the way they see fit?
I would say stick with it, it may seem like more than you can chew because its not familiar to you, as you stated, your girls are self reliant so there minimum stress with them, you giving up would be the same as everyone else and I seriously think you should have that parent meeting because either they don't know the seriousness of their kids education or they just don't give a damn, either way those boys need you.....To whom much is given much is required.....lol...had to low blow ya bruh. I know your intellect, I know You'll work it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mond! I'm checking with some other friends right now to see if they know of any resources I can use. I'm going to stick with it as long as the parents don't let the kids give up.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is a tough one, D. I would suggest sticking with it because the boys will ultimately learn something. Even if the parents don't do their part, the boys can't help but learn just from trying at your place. I think that it's sad that they are light years behind the girls in regards to basic things. It frustrates me to no end to hear a story like this, but the school isn't to blame. Learning starts at home. By the time I got to kindergarten, I was bored with class because my parents and older brother had already taught me so much. I think learning starts at home and regardless of whose home it is, it's something that it sounds like these kids need. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks Q! I'm going to keep plodding along. I was the same way when it came to kindergarten. Fortunately, my school would send me to a 1st grade class for reading and math. It gives me pause though because I'm homeschooling my 3 year old grandson and my neighbor's son for 3 hours a day, and my grandson is hard headed. So I hope I don't over prepare him to where he will get bored because I KNOW he's going to get into trouble if he does.
DeleteMan this is crazy. I ultimately believe it's the parents job and commend you for stepping in. Kids should receive a basic understanding sat home first. I have a four year old and 11 year old. My daughter is in pre k, reading, knows all her letters and colors and I still buy workbooks for her to practice at home. Same with my son and if he falls behind (6th grade this year) I will hire a tutor. It's so important to spend that one on one time with your kids. I buy my supplies at the schoolbox or print things off line. Do you have any other asked that are willing to help? I would recruit or look into big brothers. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks. I print things out for them too. But it seems like the only time anyone is interested in what they are doing in school is when they're here with me.
DeleteFirst of all, I think it's wonderful that you are having a homework club at your home. Secondly, I would continue to report to the parents unless they put a stop to your reports and also offer some solutions on how to help the boys. It's very disheartening to hear that the boys are lacking basic arithmetic and vocabulary skills they should have at their age. Somehow kids have a lack of luster when it comes to learning. I was talking to fellow blogger Thank Q about this the other day. Kids need to get out of the mindset that learning and being smart is lame. But I am glad that you have taken such a vested interest in their educational success. I pray their parents do the same. For all of our sakes.
ReplyDeleteyes to all of the above because I have the exact same problem..
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